It's just like LinkedIn for Sales, Marketing and Training - but it's funny
Sales Lingo & Aphorisms: Contribute to The Collection
We've all heard some pretty funny sayings, aphorisms and lingo that are unique to the sales game. I'd like to use this discussion to begin harvesting them from the community at large. So let's begin:
Goat Rodeo: used to describe a disorganized, people-intensive client pursuit lacking a leader or commonly accepted sales approach.
Herding Cats or Cat Wrangling: the process of trying to schedule a meeting or event among many participants with conflicting schedules.
Sales Prevention Department: Marketing.or Finance.
Cluster F@ck: A less than unified sales effort that was witnessed by the client.
Empty Suit: A well-meaning executive that has no customer or sales skills that is sitting in front of your client and methodically killing your sale.
Career-ectomy: Taking a high risk assignment with very low odds for success - also know as a Career Limiting Move or Vocational Bypass. This may also apply to regretful things said and done while influential colleagues are present. (usually at a bar).
Ass Deep in Alligators: A crisis situation at the client site that serves as the primary excuse why a salesperson hasn't returned your calls or is late submitting their forecast (or other forms-related activity with a due date)
Dog and Pony Show: A major client presentation, demonstration or briefing.
Goat Rodeo: used to describe a disorganized, people-intensive client pursuit lacking a leader or commonly accepted sales approach.
Herding Cats or Cat Wrangling: the process of trying to schedule a meeting or event among many participants with conflicting schedules.
Sales Prevention Department: Marketing.or Finance.
Cluster F@ck: A less than unified sales effort that was witnessed by the client.
Empty Suit: A well-meaning executive that has no customer or sales skills that is sitting in front of your client and methodically killing your sale.
Career-ectomy: Taking a high risk assignment with very low odds for success - also know as a Career Limiting Move or Vocational Bypass. This may also apply to regretful things said and done while influential colleagues are present. (usually at a bar).
Ass Deep in Alligators: A crisis situation at the client site that serves as the primary excuse why a salesperson hasn't returned your calls or is late submitting their forecast (or other forms-related activity with a due date)
Dog and Pony Show: A major client presentation, demonstration or briefing.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dennis Susa on -
Gone Dark:The action or result of customer inaction. Typically used to describe any number of situations where the prospective client offers no commentary or communication on a requested proposal or critical next step. The subject effectively ignores all conventional means of sales contact despite repeated phone calls, multiple voicemails and bi-weekly emails - all without reply or explanation. This term is also offered liberally as a rationale for a significant slip in forecasted revenue. "I don't understand it, the Purchasing Director has Gone Dark, so we should move that $500K to the last month of the next quarter."
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Permalink Reply by eric blumthal on -
Fallen off the RADAR: Used the same ways as "gone dark", defined in this thread already
Drinking from the Fire Hose: Common term for traditional sales/product training "events", where too much information is delivered in too short a period of time.
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Permalink Reply by eric blumthal on
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Prospect is a Seymour: A name given to a prospect that always wants to "see more" but never makes a buying decision - creating a black hole of time and resources with no sale.
RTFM: Question: "So what was the problem?" Answer: "RTFM."A phrase I have heard from technical support personnel many times during my technology sales career when a customer calls technical support, complains of problems and the answer ultimately is in the online/printed user documentation, which they never read. Stands for "Read The F#@&(@ Manual" ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Dennis Susa on
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Muffin Eater: A low-level prospect that attends every seminar that involves food or freebies - but never buys anything and usually doesn't know anybody in his firm that can. These include, but are not limited to, business breakfasts, lunch n' learns, golf outings, etc.
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Permalink Reply by eric blumthal on
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R.T.B.N. Stands for Reason To Buy Now. Term used to describe how prospects need a compelling reason (compliance, cost avoidance, job security, politics, big initiative, pain, etc.) to make a BUY decision now versus waiting/delaying.
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Permalink Reply by Dennis Susa on
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Blitz Day: An unproductive day dedicated to sharing the joy of cold calling with the rest of the company's non-sales personnel. Invented by aging office products sales managers, it provides a nostalgic return to the days when there was still hope for a one-call close. This special event is highlighted by embellished stories, temporary successes and liberal consumption of alcohol and chicken wings.
Bluebird: A large, un-forecasted sale that appears without prior knowledge or provocation. The deal is quickly claimed by the territory owner as an effort of herculean proportion and is legitimized by stringing together a number of sketchy personal associations with the buying group that placed the order.
Sandbagger: A salesperson that routinely forecasts 20 to 50% below actual attainment by understating the revenue, odds to close or the close date. Sandbagging season hits "prime time" in the last month of the final quarter of the fiscal year.
Forced March: A mandated activity usually issued from the corporate office that bears no resemblance to a revenue-generating action. These are typically include mandatory sales training, sexual harassment awareness, charitable campaign kickoffs, territory planning processes, management effectiveness training, CRM training, product launch training, client satisfaction survey updates, corporate initiatives and other notorious time-wasters.
Unnatural Acts: Deal terms and offers that are conceived without regard for profit/loss - and by construction demonstrate a complete and willful ignorance of business fundamentals. These acts of desperation are hurled at customers in the final month of the fiscal year - hoping that they will take advantage of the company's temporary insanity.
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Permalink Reply by Dennis Susa on
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Feel, Felt, Found: A classic objection-handling routine that oozes with insincerity. It is a way to use empathy as a technique to overcome a customer's rightful product or pricing concerns (and for the salesperson to appear brimming with human understanding and compassion, if only for a moment). "I know how you feel, I've felt that way myself from time to time. But what I've found is that most of my customers achieve payback in less than 24 months. Would it help for you to talk to one of them?"
FUD: Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. A technique to cause a prospective customer to question the motives of a competing company or solution to the one you're peddling. Usually most effectively used in a storytelling format that places into question your competitor's overall financial stability, business practices, customer satisfaction or product claims.
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